she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
