Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
