I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
