We're like a lot better than the average bears
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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