Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
