oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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