Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
