well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
