PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize