how can u be prego again
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
