i wish peter jackson would direct porn
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
