i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
