I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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