I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
