I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
sarcasm needs its own font
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
