Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
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Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
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And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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