I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
