Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Houston, we have a squirter
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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