I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
