I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize