The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
