I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
