i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
