I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize