allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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