I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
