What a fucking waste of an outfit
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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