its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
