I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize