Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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