You really coming over, don't trick.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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