haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
