I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
