So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol