i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
