Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
