the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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