I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
