is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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