i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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