tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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