I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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