I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
