So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
he just fucked me for my cheese.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
