Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i think i have two assholes
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
