with your own penis?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
