Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
