I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
