last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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