the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
