On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize