Do you still have your period?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
