I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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