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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  so I ended up banging her last night

  (1-414): View more from Wisconsin

  dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i don't even remember

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt

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• (347): View more from New York

  Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.

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• (956): View more from Texas

  She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...

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• (631): View more from New York

  Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I know where his drugs are but not my pants

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Dude chill patience is a virtue.

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room

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