I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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