The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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