K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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