I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize