As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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