Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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