I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
