u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Randomize
