all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Can you bring me the toilet please
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
