haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
