I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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